Rusty Bowtie
General Category => General Discussion - Intros => Topic started by: EDNY on January 19, 2025, 07:22:07 AM
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Still trying to get my head around the fact that 'Take Out' can mean food, dating, or murder
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers: If you do find one, what's your plan?
The older I get, the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day.
Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the 'cool table' in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.
You know you're over 50 when you have 'upstairs ibuprofen' and 'downstairs ibuprofen.'
If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, "Possibly, but I wouldn't count on it."
I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise. But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of hope.
Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has clearly never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won't be offended.
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says "Daddy, I want mommy" that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
It's weird being the same age as old people.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to respond "CLOSE ENOUGH."
Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble
We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages ...... Metamucil and Ensure.
Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wore their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version; it doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, 'From Mom and Dad,' and I know darn well that Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that Covid has everyone washing their hands correctly...next week...Turn Signals.
Someone said, "Nothing rhymes with orange." I said, "No, it doesn't."
The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The realist adjusts his sails.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.
My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
Exercise helps you with decision-making. It's true. I went for a run this morning and decided I'm never going again.
Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
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Good stuff here. Especially true about Fakebook.
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Ed, Thanks I needed that. I'll be sending a lot of those to others.