[EDNY]

A "classic" sea story

Marine  Etiquette

The Commandant of the Marine Corps was General Al Gray, a  crusty old
'Field Marine.' He loved his Marines and often slipped into the mess  hall
wearing a faded old field jacket without any rank or insignia on it. He would go
through the chow line just like a private (In this way, he was assured  of
being given the same rations that the lowest enlisted man received. And, woe
be it to the mess officer if the food was found to be 'unfit in quality or
quantity').

Upon becoming Commandant, General Gray was expected to  do a great deal of
'formal entertaining'...fancy dinner parties in full dress  blue uniform.
Now, the General would rather have been in the field eating cold  'C-rats'
around a fighting hole with a bunch of young 'hard charging' Marines.  But the
General knew his duty and as a Marine he was determined to do it to the
best of his ability.

During these formal parties, a detachment of  highly polished Marines from
'Eighth and Eye' (Marine Barracks located at 8th  and I Streets in
Washington, D.C., home of the Silent Drill Team) were detailed  to assume the
position of 'parade rest' at various intervals around the ballroom  where the
festivities were being held.

At some point during one of  these affairs, a very refined, blue-haired
lady picked up a tray of pastries and  went around the room offering
confections to the guests. When she noticed these  Marines in dress blues, standing
like sculptures all around the room, she was  moved with admiration. She knew
that several of these men were fresh from our  victory in Kuwait. She made a
beeline for the closest Lance Corporal, drew near  him and asked, 'Would
you like pastry young man?'

The young Marine  snapped to 'attention' and replied, "I don’t eat that
shi#!, Ma'am." Just as  quickly, he resumed the position of’ parade rest.' His
gaze remained fixed on  some distant point throughout the exchange.

The fancy lady was  completely taken aback! She blinked, her eyes widened,
her mouth dropped open.  So startled was she that she immediately began to
doubt what she had heard. In a  quivering voice she asked, "W-W-What did you
say?"

The Marine  snapped back to the position of 'attention' (like the arm of a
mousetrap  smacking its wooden base). Then he said, '"I don’t eat that shi#!,
Ma'am." And  just as smartly as before, back to the position of 'parade
rest' he  went.

This time, there was no doubt. The fancy lady immediately  became incensed
and felt insulted. After all, here she was an important lady,  taking the
time to offer something nice to this enlisted man (well below her  station in
life), and he had the nerve to say THAT to HER! She exclaimed, "Well!  I
never...!" The lady remembered that she had met that military man in charge of
all these 'soldiers' earlier. She spotted General Gray from across the
room. He  had a cigar clenched between his teeth and a camouflaged canteen cup
full of  bourbon in his left hand. He was talking to a group of 1st and 2nd
Lieutenants.  So blue haired lady went straight over to the Commandant and
interrupted.

"General, I offered some pastry to that young man over  there, and do you
know what he told me?"

General Gray cocked his  eyebrow, took the cigar out of his mouth and said,
"Well, no Ma'am, I don't."  The lady took in a deep breath, confident that
she was adequately expressing  with her body language her considerable rage
and indignation. As she wagged her  head in cadence with her words, and she
paused between each word for effect,  'She said,” I - don't - eat - that -
shi#! - Ma'am!''

The  lieutenants were in a state of near apoplexy. A couple of them choked
back  chuckles, and turned their heads to avoid having their smirks
detected. The next  thought that most of them had was, 'God, I hope it wasn't one of
MY Marines!'  and the color left their faces.

General Gray wrinkled his brow, cut  his eyes in the direction of the
lieutenants, put his free hand to his chin and  muttered a subdued, "Hmmm Which
one did you say it was Ma'am?," the General  asked.

"That tall sturdy one right over there near the window,  General," the
woman said with smug satisfaction. One of the lieutenants began to  look sick
and put a hand on the wall for support. General Gray, seemed deep in thought,
hand still to his chin, wrinkled brow. Suddenly, he looked up and his
expression changed to one indicating he had made a decision.

He  looked the fancy lady right in the eyes and said, "Well, f*%k him!
Don't give  him any."

[chopper526]

Ed, I never served in the military. My father, brothers and uncles all served, but I did not. That, I now feel, was my loss. The pendulum in this country has swung to such a degree of political correctness I wonder if we can ever recover and you will ever be able to really speak your mind.

[EDNY]

I joined the military after high school because that's what our family always did. It was just an unwritten requirement I guess, we never even considered special recognition for serving.  45 years ago (Viet Nam era) military service wasn't a job you got a pat on the back for anyway...but we knew it was honorable and a stage in life we just did. We were the first and second generation of Polish immigrants that appreciated what our military did for Europe. Our only discussion was which branch you served in

I'll you what...the training and quality of our current military is something to be proud of!