Rusty Bowtie

General Category => General Discussion - Intros => Topic started by: EDNY on May 27, 2015, 09:48:22 PM

Title: NEWS - FROM THE YEAR: 2059
Post by: EDNY on May 27, 2015, 09:48:22 PM
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the

seventh largest Country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly

known as California.

 

White minorities still trying to have English recognized

as the third language.

 

Spotted Owl plague threatens Northwestern United States

crops and livestock.

 

Baby conceived naturally!

Scientists stumped.

 

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

 

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least

10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

 

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

 

Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be

Imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all

smoking.

 

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

 

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and

reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

 

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

 

85-year $75.8 billion  study:

Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss?

 

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive

year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

 

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter

speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

 

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

 

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling

for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays

and Fridays.

 

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

 

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals

violates their civil rights.

 

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony. They

had simultaneous Headaches.

 

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet

seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.

 

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,

Screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up

newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

 

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

 

Floruba voters still having trouble with

voting machines.

 
Title: Re: NEWS - FROM THE YEAR: 2059
Post by: sixball on May 29, 2015, 12:47:35 AM
Too true but funny anyway. I can't wait to see the blackouts when everyone gets home from work and plugs in their electric car chargers.
Title: Re: NEWS - FROM THE YEAR: 2059
Post by: 62131 on May 30, 2015, 08:37:17 PM
or charging those electronic cigarettes  ;D ;D
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