Rusty Bowtie
General Category => General Discussion - Intros => Topic started by: EDNY on August 28, 2015, 05:20:12 PM
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Phyllis Dillerisms... old stuff...maybe some of the guys never heard of Phyllis Diller....
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
-Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
-Phyllis Diller
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
-Phyllis Diller
Best way to get rid of kitchen odours: Eat out.
-Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
-Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
-Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
-Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
-Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
-Phyllis Diller
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
-Phyllis Diller
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
-Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
-Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
-Phyllis Diller
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
-Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.
-Phyllis Diller
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
-Phyllis Diller
Tranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
-Phyllis Diller
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
-Phyllis Diller
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
-Phyllis Diller
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
-Phyllis Diller
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Pretty good Ed also Art Carney, Red Skelton,Carol Burnette ,Lucy Arnez,Barney Fife. and many more remember them well lol lol but then i guess i am old well over fifty lol lol wayner
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Thank you, I needed that. What a funny lady. I've been repeating the walk& talk, sit down & shut up for years, I forgot it was hers.
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Great way to start my start my Saturday! Thanks, Ed.
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Those were the days... I can remember seeing some great comedians that were funny and clean, by todays standards, on the ED Sullivan Show. Couldn't wait till it came on.
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Somewhere I've got a reel to reel tape recording of the Beatles singing " I want to Hold Your Hand" that I did when they were on the Ed Sullivan Show. It sort of erupts in the middle of some friends and me singing "Whole Lotta' Shaking Going On" One guy on a guitar and another plating " drums" with metal coat hangers on a tin waste basket. Times were good!
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Somewhere I've got a reel to reel tape recording of the Beatles singing " I want to Hold Your Hand" that I did when they were on the Ed Sullivan Show. It sort of erupts in the middle of some friends and me singing "Whole Lotta' Shaking Going On" One guy on a guitar and another plating " drums" with metal coat hangers on a tin waste basket. Times were good!
That they were... I was sitting in front of the black and white with my brother and sister when the Beatles first came on that show, I'll never forget.